I went to my in-laws a few weeks ago and spent the night. Being a good houseguest, after finishing up in the shower, I hopped out, grabbed my towel and hopped back in, trying not to get any water on the floor. I slipped and fell in the tub. Being that they have glass doors and the metal track, my one leg got caught up and got bruised pretty bad. Three black and blues on my thigh and calf, one on my other knee, and a nice one on my elbow. Lovely. Worst of all was the shame and embarassment that came with it. As soon as I fell, in came my daughter. I could swear I locked that door. Damn it. Then came the mother in-law. I was laughing so hard I was crying and she yelled for help, insisting I was hurt. Then came the dog, followed by the husband. All I wanted to do was lay there naked by myself. Is that too much? Let me wallow in my own misery.
Then this past Monday came. I took out the kitchen garbage and wanted to be nice, so I took the garbage can from the driveway to the curb. I twisted wrong while putting it down and now can hardly move. My kid thinks it's funny that I let out a shriek with every sneeze and cough. I try and touch my toes and only my head can look down. I went to the chiropractor on Saturday and was yelled at by my father because one "almost killed" his dentist. Dr. Dad has his own regime that I need to follow so I'm waiting on him to come over and show me his stretches. In the mean time, I have a follow up this afternoon. I haven't actually hit 30 yet, what the h-e-double hockey sticks!
So instead of running around, I decided to read some poetry with my daughter. We love Shel Silverstein. He's so funny. We were reading Where the Sidewalk Ends (an anthology of poems) and came to a line about instamatic flu. My husband over heard and said instamatic flu was the worst. What does my kid say? "Noooo, HIV/AIDS is the worst!"
I give up.
